It was a scorching day at the stadium today. The intense heat made it hard for players relying on strength or speed to shine. On the other hand, it provided perfect conditions for the more technical players. The following players had been selected: Kula - Lopukhov, Kamaaludheen, Patel - Broja, Kalliola, Atalaya, Kuśmierz, Belda Pérez-Pedrero - Lunda, Bezdolny.

Lineup: Dob - Webb, Panigrahi - Künzler, Mohammad Harun, Muthyala, Kamel, ter Berg - Ze Han, Mudaliar, Egan.

AIK Maldives fielded a 3-5-2 lineup. For Grilled Birds, the formation of choice was a 2-5-3. A mistake by the home side's central defense after 8 minutes allowed Bilal Mohammad Harun to score for Grilled. The visitors have the lead, 0 - 1. The away team's Kalle ter Berg took advantage of a mistake on the home side's right after 17 minutes increasing Grilled's lead to 0 - 2. Was it the hair gel? Was it a gift from the gods? Either way, the faithful won't care. Soaring like a Saturn V, Neeraj Muthyala somehow got his head on a Cyril Künzler moonshot from the corner and buried it in the back of the net. What grace! What power! Plant the flag for Grilled, Neil Armstrong! The score is now 0 - 3. After several obvious shirt pulling incidents, Maldives's Juan Belda Pérez-Pedrero got himself booked. Iyaax Kamaaludheen did everything he could to get one back for the home crowd, but keeper Massoud Dob denied him with a spectacular save. Given a free kick from a ways out after 31 minutes, Grilled sent an arching ball into the penalty box. It was headed clear, but Gilbert Webb was waiting just outside the area and fired it home to make it 0 - 4. Everyone had expected a shot from the free kick 32 minutes into the game, but Maldives sent the ball sideways instead, giving Juan Belda Pérez-Pedrero a clear look at goal with no wall in his way. He sent it through the keeper's legs for 1 - 4! 38 minutes into the match, the visitors put themselves ahead 1 - 5 as Vikram Mudaliar finished off an attack from the left with a spectacular bicycle kick. Maybe Maksim Lopukhov should join the aquatics team instead. He went down dramatically after 39 minutes, crying out with agony as he fell. The referee was not impressed, though, and showed him a yellow for diving. Halftime score was 1 - 5. Well, look at this! Nikki Minaj is on the Jumbotron in naught but pink lipstick, soccer balls, and a Ben Nevis of platinum hair. I've not seen anything like it before. She's not got enough room inside her for a rheumatic pain. Can you hear her? The Grilled players could smell victory in the air. Kalle ter Berg wasn't in a hurry to leave the field as he was substituted for Heng Dong Chu after 46 minutes. Maldives's coach was furious with Jędrzej Kuśmierz after he picked up a yellow for saying one too many words to the ref. 60 minutes into the game, technical Anastazy Broja of Maldives scored to make it 2 - 5, having made Neeraj Muthyala look like a complete fool. The home crowd was not impressed when Chan Ze Han came in from the right, shooting hard to score after 61 minutes. Grilled were now up 2 - 6. The home crowd was briefly mollified when Jędrzej Kuśmierz reduced the lead to 3 - 6 after a brilliant midfield give-and-go through the middle. 75 minutes into the match, the referee signaled for a Grilled substitution. Chu Xin Lee came on for Bilal Mohammad Harun. 75 minutes into the game, Grilled wanted to bring some new energy to their game. Vikram Mudaliar gave Kalki Parvathaneni a quick hug as he left the field. A surprising free kick routine after 77 minutes nearly resulted in another goal for the visitors, but the strikers were too eager and were caught offside. With 80 minutes played, Grilled put themselves up 3 - 7 after an attack from the right, caused by a defensive blunder. The scorer was Bernie Egan. The players were tired, but when the referee announced that there would be 4 minutes of added time, they welcomed the extra opportunity to make an impact. The match ends 3 - 7. Looks like Nate Silver was right again - his prediction that Grilled would have 59 percent possession in this half was spot on!

Maldives's top performer was clearly Vicente Atalaya. You can tell it was nickel beer night yesterday at the local bar because Arpan Patel seemed to stumble all over the pitch. Most important Grilled player was Chan Ze Han. I can't remember Bhavya Panigrahi ever having a worse night than he just had.